The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is -
C.S. Lewis
I have always been apprehensive about stating one truth about myself. This apprehension arises every time someone asks me, especially in the situation of a job interview, what are my strengths and weaknesses. While I have been able to give the answers quite convincingly, I usually never tell people that my greatest strength is that I am selfish with my time.
Writing this piece has helped me ponder on the reasons that I hold back from this confession. I use the word confession intentionally because accepting this notion that I am selfish, at some level feels like a minor crime. So after some introspection, I was able to get down to the root cause of this feeling of apprehension.
Growing up, I was always told and taught to be selfless, caring, and community bound. For a ton of reasons that teaching was right. From understanding what it means to have a collective thought process that is inclusive of everybody, to being there for one another in the good and bad times, this method did teach me a great deal. However, this teaching and lifestyle of being selfless also meant that I put others first. That means I put myself second or third, if not last.
As I got older this teaching started conflicting with my beliefs and priorities. For once I was choosing to be selfish and think of myself first, and not second or third. When I started understanding the relevance of time, that is when I began to get more and more selfish about it. Most of us always chase financial freedom. I too was included in that list for the longest time. Instead what we should be chasing is freedom of time.
The freedom to do whatever it is you want with your life, whenever you want.
Before I get into the reasons why it is important to be selfish with your time, I would like to share a perspective I came across in a Tim Ferris Podcast, where Graham Duncan quantifies Time in a very fascinating way. This thought of his validated my belief of being selfish with my time to a whole new level.
The concept of Time Billionaires
Graham said, “People don't really understand the difference between millionaires and billionaires. A million seconds is 11 days. A billion seconds is 31 years. Most 20-year-olds don't realize that they have 2 billion seconds left. Since they do not realize that, they never relate to themselves as Time Billionaires. Take the example of Rupert Murdoch. He is 87 years old and is worth 20 Billion Dollars. To understand the value of time, one must understand the price Rupert Murdoch would pay for 5 years of the mind and body of a 20-year-old. And that 20 years old must wonder, how they would price those 5 years”.
When you look at your time in the form of a currency, you will always value it differently. Most of us just take it for granted until we reach an age where we regret the time we’ve lost. Here are some ways to change that and what it has taught me.
‘No’ is the most powerful word in any language
Most people avoid saying ‘No’ to someone because it could boil down to a situation of conflict between two people. One tends to think that by saying ‘No’ you might offend someone, sound rude, or you might disappoint them. To avoid these situations you usually give in and say ‘Yes’ to people even though you would prefer spending that time doing something you wanted to do.
The most common reason we say ‘Yes’ to people is because of Peer Pressure. Whether it is going to the party that everyone is going to or lighting your first cigarette. Doing things because others are doing it, or because you feel obligated to fit in is never helpful in the long run. That just makes you a ‘Yes-Man/Woman’ in your social circle. Also, saying ‘Yes’ to everything is a sign of indecisiveness and a lack of clarity. It is okay to be unclear on certain things. The point is don’t just brainlessly do something without asking yourself if it is worth your time, or if it’s something that matters to you.
Every time you decline to do something, it may be perceived by people negatively or positively, depending on how much your thought processes align. You shouldn’t bother about either, as they are a consequence of a random match or mismatch of thinking. Either way, what you gain is time and the freedom to decide how you want to spend it every time you say No.
Think about the amount of time you have lost doing things you did not want to do, only to avoid conflict or momentary disappointment. When you look back, ask yourself what amount of it was really worth it and how else could you have spent that time. That is the opportunity cost that you could have gained by saying No.
Put a price tag on your time
Pricing your time is probably one of the best methods of prioritizing your time. I heard of this method for the first time while listening to Naval on the Joe Rogan Podcast. Naval says that at a very early age, he decided that he was never going to be worth more than what he thought he was worth. So the next question he asked himself was, How much does he think is he worth?
To do this, he set an aspirational rate for himself, one which sounds completely ludicrous at first. Say five hundred dollars an hour. By doing this, he was able to establish the value of his time. The next time he has to decide on doing something like standing in line to return something or working on something that can be delegated to someone, he asks himself if what he is doing is worth more or less than an hour of his time. If it is worthless, then he will give away the item he is waiting to replace or delegates the work to someone.
So while you should exclude things such as rest, leisure, or spending time with your friends and family from this method, the next time you want to take a call on doing something that you don’t want to do or think you have to do, try this approach.
One of the few things that I have realized recently is that there is no benefit or progress of living on the extreme of anything beyond a point. The constant learning one gets is from being in the middle, the area between black and white. So while, being selfless works sometimes, it will not work every time. In the same way, being selfish with your time may work, but being selfish with everything in life may not.
The goal should always be to find the balance or state of Nirvana in everything you do. One of the places to start with is to ensure you are first in control of your decisions and are entirely convinced of what it is that you are doing. That way the probability of you regretting how you spend your time also reduces.
Until next time…